Possession

I admitted something to myself this week. I’m an addict. No, not of anything “bad”. I’m addicted to possessing things. I think that’s why I like to shop. I buy books all the time, yet rarely get around to reading them all. It’s just the pleasure of having them, of making them mine. Same for taking books out of the library. I’ll grab ten or so books, plow my way through most of them, but return several unread. I also hoard cross stitch patterns and supplies. And (as awful and illegal as it is), I hoard ebooks, copied video games, mp3s and DivX anime.

In reality, there should be nothing I want for. quanta and I live well. We have a beautiful apartment, nice furniture, and relatively new computers. We eat well, and go out often enough. We don’t have a car, but the bus is just fine. When we travel a long distance, it is nearly always first class on the train (thanks to his work letting him keep VIA points for personal use). My life is really good. Yet, I can’t help myself from wanting more. There is always another book I want, or a new movie coming out, or another game. And now that I work at a bedding shop, I want new bedding. What the heck is wrong with me?

So, since this blog is supposed to be about Wicca and my spiritual journey, I thought I’d look at this from a Wiccan perspective. What’s the Rede got to say about behaviour like this? Well, is my desire to possess causing harm, or is it a harmless activity that I am free to do? The fact that I am concerned about it shows that it is obviously causing harm, to my psyche at the very least, and to our long term savings at the most.

But, I try to rationalise to myself, I don’t buy things all that often, once a week or so, and when I do it is maybe $20 here and $50 there. And hey, we aren’t poor, we’ve got some money. Ah, but what about the dinners out, and the whining about wanting things? That takes a toll on both the pocket book and quanta’s sanity. And there is the wedding to save for, and a bunch of other things.

After a long talk with myself, what did I conclude? My addiction to possessing things is harmful, and therefor against the Rede. How I will make changes is something I’m not sure about yet. A little less coveting I think, as well as being a little more aware of quanta’s feelings. And maybe getting rid of that Amazon Wish List plug-in.

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