Stitching Lotus

Pain

How do you stay spiritual when your day is spent answering phones, making coffee, and doing data entry for contest forms? (It is so sad when someone checks off that they make less then US$25,000, and that one of their financial priorities is buying luxury items.) I feel so lost right now, and so unlike myself. I am shy, and very timid by nature, and I am quite happy to be that way. But for the past few days at work, I’ve had to call people I don’t know and do research into buying expensive items for my company. I am way out of my comfort zone, and all I can think about is survival. How is it possible to live like this day to day without going crazy?

I suppose the obvious answer is that one needs to learn and grow. Well, I don’t want to. I like myself as shy and quiet. I don’t want to be someone else. I am trying to tell myself that I need to keep this job because I need to pay off my student loan and save some money. But is it worth losing myself in the process? No one else seems to understand the pain this is causing me. But I guess I’ve always been very sensitive. I wish there was some way out.

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