How do you stay spiritual when your day is spent answering phones, making coffee, and doing data entry for contest forms? (It is so sad when someone checks off that they make less then US$25,000, and that one of their financial priorities is buying luxury items.) I feel so lost right now, and so unlike myself. I am shy, and very timid by nature, and I am quite happy to be that way. But for the past few days at work, I’ve had to call people I don’t know and do research into buying expensive items for my company. I am way out of my comfort zone, and all I can think about is survival. How is it possible to live like this day to day without going crazy?

I suppose the obvious answer is that one needs to learn and grow. Well, I don’t want to. I like myself as shy and quiet. I don’t want to be someone else. I am trying to tell myself that I need to keep this job because I need to pay off my student loan and save some money. But is it worth losing myself in the process? No one else seems to understand the pain this is causing me. But I guess I’ve always been very sensitive. I wish there was some way out.

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3 Responses to Pain

  1. Laura says:

    Some people are good at things like that, and like it. Some people aren’t. I’d say, if you can stand to keep it up for now, use some of your spare time (yes, this cuts it down further!) to look for a job that better suits you. If you’re going to fall apart over having to do this anyway, it might be better to quit, then start a more thorough hunt for a job that would suit you better. But it might be, if you tell yourself this is “just until” you find a better choice, it will be easier to take, as well.

    I think I’d want to cry or wince, reading some of those forms, from the sound of it!

  2. Ari says:

    I fully understand..I have had jobs that literally in mind where strictly to pay the bills. Perhaps, you could job hunt, something more to your liking, and then switch jobs? I know working a crappy job that eats at your soul is not good, but unfortunately, those bills have to be paid. Best bet, hunt for a better job! In the meantime, lots of meditation and aura cleansing!

  3. Tracie says:

    I’d say…just bear in mind that you’re dealing with human beings just as “flawed” as you. None of us are perfect, and everyone you call has their own issues too, and may not like THEIR jobs either.

    It’s hard to explain what I mean, but spiritual inspiration and fulfillment CAN be found in the most mundane of jobs like yours or mine, and it seems to me that “mindfulness” is the key.

    If I had my druthers, I’d not go to the office every day. It’s all I can do sometimes to face someone at my desk and answer questions and all.

    I have read “Peace is Every Step” by Thich Nhat Hanh, and his books are a big influence behind how I eventually came to relax into the job I do and find little moments in my day that make it worthwhile. It’s the little things that make such a big difference, isn’t it?

    Sometimes I think a lot of people in the alternative spirituality scene think that spirituality is defined only by moments like standing in circle – doing chants and prayers – connecting with the Goddess and all that. And that’s ok, but I’d say the real test comes in how it integrates into one’s everyday life.

    You might have inspired an entry!