Pagan Speak for September 2003

Pagan Speak for September 2003

Topic #2 : Do You Believe In Fairies? (courtesy of Witchvox)
Faeries, the Good Folk, the Sidhe and many more Otherworld beings of this type populate the folklore and tales of the world. So such beings exist? Did they ever? Are they an archetype, a memory of a long-lost people or simply that thing that we catch out of the corner of our eye? Have you ever had a Fae Encounter? Tell us your favorite ‘faery tale’ and point us to it if the source is on the net. And don’t forget your pixie dust.

I feel the same way about fairies as I do about most magical beings–I don’t believe in them, but I sure wish they did exist. I think the world needs more magic, it needs more tooth fairies and Santa Clauses and Easter Bunnies. We need unicorns running through the parks, fairies dancing on our lawns, and trolls under the overpasses. I think it would help take the edge off all the horrible things that happen in the world, like the wars and poverty. We may be a modern society full of facts and technology, but a bit of flight of fancy would be a wonderful thing.

Did they every exist? I’m not sure. Stories have got to start somewhere. Maybe they are like mini-deities, taking over small archetypes that gods and goddess feel are beneath them (or that we feel are beneath them). I mean, a goddess who will clean your house at night, or make you some shoes? Doesn’t sound right, does it? But some wee folk who will gladly do it for some fresh cream is a delightful idea.

I’m not sure that I have a favourite story about faire folk. I just happen to like the idea of them. Although, I am rather fond of Brian Froud’s artwork and books, especially Good Faeries, Bad Faeries and Faeries. I’ve even tried working this his Faeries’ Oracle, but it just didn’t click. Maybe they are real, and they just aren’t very happy about me not believing in them.

Lost

quanta and I went to see Lost in Translation on Saturday afternoon. To me, it was almost a surreal movie, reflecting parts of my own life. Like Charlotte, I am trying to figure out who I am. I want to be a writer, but I hate everything I write. I am in this city because this is where my fiancee works. I am a lost soul, wandering around, never feeling like I fit in.

There is a scene where Charlotte goes to an ikebana class. She seems overwhelmed by the skill the other ladies show. To me, it is like she wants to join in, but she is afraid that she won’t be good enough. Yet, later, she places beautiful paper flowers around her hotel room. I see myself in this too. I’d like to think I am good at certain things, but when I compare myself to others I feel like I am a fraud. Instead, I keep what I do to myself, either by keeping it in our home or inside.

Unfortunately, Lost in Translation doesn’t provide any answers. The characters feel out of place for the entire movie, with few exceptions. And never once do they discover what to do to make things better. Bob just says that “The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you.” Words to live by, I suppose. But they don’t help me feel any less lost.

Dreaming of Vegas

It’s one year to the day. Well, maybe. We still haven’t completely settled on a date yet. And the plans are really getting changed around. I really don’t want to have a big dinner and dance. I never did. What I would really like to do is get married in Vegas when we are there next month, but quanta doesn’t think that is a good idea. It would sure save on a lot of stress, and the chapel in Excalibur is so beautiful.

Anyway, I think we’ve pretty much decided not to go with any of the venues I looked at. The Old Mill is beautiful, and it would be perfect, but it isn’t what we want. Okay, I want the chapel, but not the rest of it, and quanta doesn’t know what he wants, but he certainly doesn’t want to spend $14,000. I would like to get married outside in my beautiful dress, go out to dinner at a nice restaurant with a private room and a small group of people, and then leave for our honeymoon the next day. When we come back, I would like have another small dinner with friends that we could not invite to the wedding. quanta, he doesn’t want to talk about it right now. *sigh* Vegas is looking better and better all the time.

Getting Credit

I participated in another game beta test during the summer. I can’t mention the title yet, but it is an absolutely fabulous game, and I really enjoyed playing it. Okay, I got a little bored once in a while. And occasionally I got annoyed when I was nearly finished a five or six hour game and a new patch came out, rendering my game unplayable. But those are the “joys” of beta testing. Two good things came out of this experience though – first, testing really is what I want to do. Second, I go my name in the credits! Wheeze! I don’t think I’ve been credited in any of the other games I’ve tested. I’m glad that I was able to help make this game better, and I hope it does wonderfully well when it hits the stores. Be sure to buy it, the game with the name I don’t think I can reveal yet. 🙂

Helping My Self

I think I’m like most women in that I have a selection of self-help books dealing with subjects ranging from weight loss, to voluntary simplicity, to self-discovery sitting on my bookshelves. I’ve read most of them cover to cover, but rarely do they make an impact on my life. It is not that I am particularly “messed up”, nor am I looking for any sort of confirmation that I am okay the way I am, it is just that I don’t put any of their suggestions into practice. And I think I’ve discovered the reason for that – real personal change is painful and I don’t like pain. Personal change can also cause conflict, with yourself and with others, and I don’t like conflict either. So what do I do? Do I stagnate, forever discontent with who I am? Well, that isn