When quanta and I were in the early stages of our romantic relationship, I told him that I would convert to Catholicism if he wanted. I rationalized this on many different levels. At the most basic, I wanted to please him more then anything in the world. On a more spiritual level, I recognized the Virgin Mary as the Goddess in disguise.
quanta more or less laughed off my offer, and I am glad he did. It is not that I love him any less today, or that I no longer want to make him happy. It is quite the opposite. We have a wonderful relationship, full of love, joy and compromise. And our relationship works because we are both our own person. We might not understand or agree with each other’s religion, but that doesn’t destroy our relationship. Instead, we have respect for the our different spiritual and moral beliefs, and celebrate the similarities. Admittedly, neither of us are particularly devote, which probably helps.
A strong and lasting relationship can not be built when one partner tries to change them self to fit the other person. Women especially need to remember to take care of themselves and maintain their own personality. And believe me when I say I speak from experience here. Perhaps part of the reason I love quanta so much–beyond his generosity, humour and intelligence–is the fact that he supports me in all my endeavors and encourages me to discover who I am.