A few days ago I came across a blog entry, somewhere on my general rounds of the blogosphere, where the author was asking for marriage advice to pass on at an upcoming wedding shower. I didn’t comment, because at the time I didn’t really have anything to add. But, I’ve been thinking about it and I believe I do have some advice to pass on. Sure, quanta and I aren’t married, but we have been living together for three years now, so I feel that I do know a little something.
My biggest piece of advice is to say “I love you” every night before you go to sleep. It sounds simple, and maybe even a little sappy, but I think it is something wise to do. It plays into that old “Never go to bed angry” advice everyone is given. It is hard to stay angry when you tell you SO you truly love them. Also, by doing this every night, you are consistently letting the other person know how you feel; you are connecting if even for a few minutes. And, if you are of a morbid bent, you never know what is going to happen while you sleep, so don’t let a chance to say “I love you” pass by.
I try to tell quanta I love him every night before bed, and every morning when he leaves for work.
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Another piece of advice is to always listen to what the other has to say – just because you firmly believe in your opinion, they just might have a point as well.
Keep the romance alive – hold hands often, make eye contact with each other and a loving hug from behind for no reason goes a long way without saying any words at all.
I have found that often it IS the little things that mean the most – doing something special out of the blue says I love you louder and clearer than those three little words do.
But I also agree, a kiss and saying I love you before you go off to the land of nod is a very reassuring and comforting way to end the evening.
Don’t expect perfection, your not going to get it and you’ll end up miserable.
The best piece of advice we ever got came from his father, and that was to never, never go to bed angry with each other.