Maybe It’s Me?

I’m thinking about leaving my job again. I am very frustrated that I feel I have to do this. It reminds me of a friend I have. All through university he complained about the people in the various group projects he had to do. By our final year of university someone made the observation that the only thing common to each of his groups, besides his complaints, was him! What is the same with all my jobs? Me.

I partly think that I should stick it out, at least until September. But I really don’t think I can. I am tired of feeling like I have to watch every single thing I say for fear of offending someone’s overly sensitive sensibilities. (And it always the most benign things that cause the most offense.) I am also tired of being treated as if I am second class and apologizing for things that are out of my control. Most of all, I am tired of feeling like I deserve this kind of treatment.

So, what can I do? I can’t keep jumping from job to job, hoping one day I will stumble on to the prefect (or even tolerable) one. It makes me look, and feel, very flighty. The obvious first suggestion, beyond telling me to be grateful that I even have a job, is to pursue one of my dream jobs, or at least something better suited to my personality.

These jobs include librarian (need a degree), writer (give me ten years), stay-at-home mom (quanta doesn’t agree, yet), and maybe accountant (need a degree and would probably hate it too).

So what do I do? Tough it out and hope it gets better. Well, it hasn’t gotten any better in the last ten months. I’ve sent out eight resumes in the last couple of days. I think that it is time to walk away from this job while I still have a little bit of self esteem left. It is a difficult decision, because I like having my own money and I have no concrete plan for the future. But I really don’t think I can go on being treated the way I have been. No amount of money is enough to make me feel like I deserve disrespect.

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