I am having a fat day. A very fat day. I even ate some chocolate, which didn’t help at all.
I’ve started reading Body Sacred by Dianne Sylvan, a book about women’s relationship with their bodies from a Wiccan point of view. Ms. Sylvan makes it clear that she is a big woman, but that she is making excellent progress towards feeling good about herself even if “skinny bitches” laugh at her when she is eating ice cream. I wanted to cheer for her. I’m overweight, at 175lbs and 5’2″ tall, but I’m lucky enough to have some fabulous curves that help to disguise the weight. But there are times when I get dirty looks from skinny fashionistas when I am trying to enjoy a treat like a fast food lunch. It hurts more than a skinny person can imagine, and it does a lot to squash someone’s self-esteem.
The world is full of messages telling us that thinner is better, and I have to admit that I have fallen under the sway to some extent. Some days I would give anything to be 110lbs and 5’8″, but I’m not and I never will be. Being a fashion model isn’t important to me, but being healthy and comfortable in my body is. My new exercise program is helping me to reach those goals, and making me aware of the Goddess that truly does live within me… and within those skinny bitches too.