Meme Saturday

Posted on April 10, 2004 by Heather

Today is meme day at the Pond. I’ve just woken up and it is far to early for me to be original. 🙂

First, the Friday Five on Saturday.

1. What do you do for a living?
Right now I am a house-almost-wife. I cook, clean, write, studying, and keep things running smoothly.

2. What do you like most about your job?
I like being able to find spend time trying to figure out who I am and to look after myself. I also really enjoying cooking and cleaning, believe it or not.

3. What do you like least about your job?
Sometimes I can get a little lonely.

4. When you have a bad day at work it’s usually because _____…
I generally don’t have bad days. I suppose the bad days happen when the cat gets sick, or I’m just not in a happy mood.

5. What other career(s) are you interested in?
I went to school for computer programming, but that isn’t something I want to do as a career. I would like to write, but not as my career. I think I am best suited to administration. That may not sound very ambitious, but it is something I enjoy.

Now, for the meme quiz that has been floating around. I picked it up from Lani this morning.

Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says:
“that a stranger will soon come to call”
Llewellyn’s Witches’ Datebook 2004

Continue reading →

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When I grow up…

Posted on April 8, 2004 by Heather

I had a nice talk with quanta this morning. We were discussing the fact that I don’t really seem to like myself. While not entirely true, there is something to that observation. I told him it was because I was never allowed to do or be what I wanted to do or be. I wasn’t allowed to go to school to become a writer, teacher, historian or archeologist. All things I would dearly love to do, yet I was made to feel that they weren’t worthwhile since I couldn’t make a good living. Instead, I went to school to be an engineer. When that didn’t work out, I transfer to the computer science program. I did okay in school, but not as well as I could have because I didn’t enjoy it. My high marks, As mostly, came in my elective classes which were ancient history or Japanese studies. But going to school to get a job where I would make money didn’t work out. Three years out of university this month and I still haven’t got a job in my field. Nor do I want one.

quanta asked me what I wanted to do. I said I wanted to pay off my student loans and then stay home and raise some children and, of course, write in my free time. He said okay, but how are you going to pay of those loans? I don’t know. Get a job obviously. But I do know that when I have children, if they want to go to school to be historian, or even an engineer, I won’t stop them.

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Paralyzed

Posted on April 6, 2004 by Heather

Sometimes I stick with things I don’t enjoy because I am trying to prove something to myself. Other times I stick with them because I am trying to prove something to everyone else. And sometimes I stick with things because I feel an obligation, no matter how misguided, to other people. Right now I am involved with a few different online groups and projects. Some of them I really enjoy, like the Stat-Tarot group which I will post about shortly. And some of them I am coming to realize that I sticking with because I feel an obligation or that I have something to prove.

I am trying to think about what is in my own best interest. Would I get more done if I wasn’t participating in these groups? Or would I just fritter away the time I would gain? Am I really disenchanted with these groups, or is this just a temporary low? What am I getting out of these groups, if anything? Could I get this experience/learn these things/do these projects elsewhere? Do I even what to do what the group is doing?

And you know… I don’t know. I think I am always so worried about hurting other people’s feelings, or so caught up in worrying about what other people will think, or even worrying that I will miss something important, that I am to paralyzed to act. And no one, least of all my loved ones, seem to understand. They tell me I should be okay, I should know what to do. I don’t.

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The Need to Write

Posted on April 4, 2004 by Heather

“Writing books is too good an idea to be left to authors,” says Thomas Mallon in his book A Book of One’s Own: People and Their Diaries. How true that is. I write because I need to, not because I ever intend to publish a book. The words inside me need to escape, into my private journal, my public blog or my website.

I’m really not sure why I feel the need to make some of my work public, especially the things I am sharing here. I suppose, like most people who keep blogs, I feel that I do have important things to say. They may not be earth shattering, but they still need to be said. And, because of the way blogs work, it is easy for people to choose whether they want to read me or not. Sometimes, though, I wish I had a little wider audience. I often feel like I am screaming into the darkness, and all my insights are going to waste. And then I come off my high horse and realize that what I have to say is no more important or special then what anyone else has to say. The important things is getting the ideas and words out of my head and on to some paper or a computer screen. Then I can examine then and find out what I really think (or know) about something. And sometimes (most of the time) I am really surprised.

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Times Past

Posted on April 4, 2004 by Heather

Apparently it is meme day here at the Pond. I found this via Vilma’s Realm and Spellbound. (Yes, I do read blogs beyond what is in my blog rolling. Blogs listed there are just my daily reads.)

Anyway, this is a pretty interesting look at how old we were when certain major (mostly American, sadly) evens occured. I’m one of those people who spend an awful lot of time looking back, and maybe not enough looking forward. This list sort of puts things into perspective. It is good to remember, but there reaches a time when we need to gently let go.

Note: Items in italics are ones I added myself, they are not part of the site I liked to above.


25 years old at the time of the Columbia Shuttle accident
24 years old at the time of the 9-11 attack on America
22 years old on the first day of Y2K
20 years old when the Mars Pathfinder lands
20 years old when Princess Diana was killed in a car crash
17 years old at the time of Oklahoma City bombing
17 years old when O. J. Simpson was charged with murder
16 years old when Kim Campbell, Canada’s first female Prime Minster, is sworn in
15 years old at the time of the 93 bombing of the World Trade Center
14 years old at the time of the failed Kremlin coup
13 years old when Operation Desert Storm began
12 years old during the fall of the Berlin Wall
9 years old when Andrew Warburton, a friend, goes missing in the woods in Nova Scotia
8 years old when the space shuttle Challenger exploded
6 years old when Apple introduced the Macintosh
6 years old during Sally Ride’s travel in space
3 years old when Pres. Reagan was shot by John Hinckley, Jr.
2 years old at the time the Iran hostage crisis began

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Unconscious Mutterings

Posted on April 4, 2004 by Heather

Another week’s Unconscious Mutterings. Sometimes that feels like all I do–I’m just saying the first thing that comes to mind when someone is talking to me. Or maybe I’m just saying what I think they want to hear.

  1. Condemn::Building
  2. Promiscuous::Sex
  3. Pro-life::Anti-Choice
  4. Mona Lisa::Smile
  5. Crown::Queen
  6. Mumble::Words
  7. Hack::Writer
  8. Diet::Exercise
  9. Introduction::Story
  10. Latin America::Salsa

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Lotus Petals

Posted on April 2, 2004 by Heather

I’ve been writing here in Reflections in the Pond since July of last year. This blog has really served me well. I have opened up quite a bit, and shared more of myself then I ever thought I would feel comfortable doing. But I find the focus of this blog, spirituality and my journey through life, just a little limiting.

That isn’t to say that I don’t still love this blog. I most certainly do. But I do occasionally do some writing that doesn’t fit it’s focus, or the focus of my main site, The Lotus Pond.

So, with that in mind, I have started another blog to share some of my writing projects in. I will be posting the results of writing exercises, story ideas, etc. Most likely it won’t be of interest to many of you, and I’m fine with that. You are more then welcome atLotus Petals.

I will continue to update Reflections as often as I do now. Lotus Petals will be updated on an occasional basis, when I have a new piece of writing I want to share.

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