Me, Vain?

Posted on March 28, 2005 by Heather

I wonder if I am vain because I like to think and write about myself. Not in the “I’m the greatest, most interesting person” sort of a way, but rather in an attempt to discover myself. What are my favourite things, my dreams, my passions?

I love to do little quizzes that are supposed to tell me what kind of fairy, or soul or element that I am. Even though they are just for fun, and often very generic, I still get a twinge of secret pleasure when I see myself in the results. I feel like a little bit of my soul has revealed itself in an unexpected place.

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Witches Weekly – Death and Afterlife

Posted on March 27, 2005 by Heather

No, I haven’t fallen off the face of the earth, nor have I given up on my blog. Lately I haven’t been particularly well, and the lack of energy I have been experiencing has made it difficult for me to keep up with many of the things I enjoy. But I am slowly learning to make changes and to put important things first. So, hopefully, I will soon be back to posting regularly.

Witches Weekly: Death and Afterlife

What are your thoughts on what happens after you die?
I’ve written about this before, and my thoughts are still the same. I believe that we are reincarnated in order to work through a series of lessons, and in the end we will be reunited with the Divine. But I am also very afraid that when we die there is nothing more–that we just stop being.

Has this belief changed at some point in your life from a different theory? If so, how?
I was raised as a Presbyterian, so I once believed that when we died the good people went to heaven and sat with God, and the bad people were tortured in Hell. It was a rather simplistic view, but much better then believing nothing at all happened. 🙂 As I began to explore Wicca, I found the theory of reincarnation to be more fitting with my views on the world and spirituality.

Do you belief in any sort of karma and reincarnation?
I don’t believe in karma in the Buddhist way, in that actions taken in past lives cause events in our current life. (Although I do believe that if we didn’t learn a lesson in one life, we will face it again in another life.) Rather, I believe in the spirit of the Three Fold Law, were cause and effect are felt in this lifetime. As for reincarnation, I have explained my thoughts on that in the first question.

Witches Weekly

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Float Soap

Posted on March 4, 2005 by Heather

Ivory – The soap that floats. These words caught my eye as I was cleaning the bathroom the other day. I rarely pay attention to which brand of bar soap I buy, picking up whatever is cheapest. But lately I seem to be drawn to Ivory. And when I opened the bathroom cabinet to put my cleaning supplies away, I happened to read the tagline on the Ivory package–all of a sudden I was transported back to my childhood.

As a child, I loved to have baths, and nothing was more fun then a bath with “float soap”. Whenever we went shopping, I would demand for my mother buy it. And now I find myself turning more and more towards childhood comforts. I may not have the time to soak in a bath as much as I would like, but I can remember and occasionally indulge.

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Growing Pains Revisited

Posted on March 2, 2005 by Heather

I have recently heard from a few old high school friends. (I promise I will respond soon, guys!) When I received the first email, my immediate reaction was “How the heck did they find my blog?!” It’s not that I’m hiding it, but I know it is obscure. Obviously it is easier to find then I thought.

These emails also got me thinking about my high school years. For the first couple of years I had two wonderful friends. I was closer to the one then the other, but we all got along really well. Then I was set up with a guy. He wasn’t my first boyfriend, nor, thankfully, would he be my last. But at the time he became my world. Friendships fell apart, I lost myself in him, and the last few years of high school were full of drama and tears.

A few years later we split up, but by then the damage had long been done. It took me some time, and a lot of help, to recover my self and my own personality. I recovered my spirituality and I found a man I love dearly and who treats me wonderfully. (What a refreshing change!)

Overall, I would say that I have no regrets about my high school years. They may have been difficult and often cruel, but they lead to the life I have now. I am still shy and very wary of trusting others, but I am the strongest I have ever been. I am also much more secure in myself and in my spiritual path. Sometime I wish I had done things a little differently and kept in touch with people instead of all but disappearing after high school. But, looking back, I’m not sure the changes would be worth it if it meant I had to give up everything I have now and all the lessons I have learned.

So, to bring this full circle, I am actually very glad to hear from these old friends again. It has given me a chance to reflect on how I’ve grown, and also a chance to renew and repair old friendships. But I’d still like to know how you guys found me!

1 Comment | Posted in Memories |

What Month Is It?

Posted on February 28, 2005 by Heather

Working at a card and gift shop, I am always living ahead of the year. For example, cards and gift items for Valentine’s Day began arriving by the end of November. So, while everyone else was getting wrapped up in Yule/Christmas, I was already thinking of hearts and cupids. I am also living a little behind the year too. This week I finished packing up Valentine’s and the very last of the Christmas items. I also finally sorted the Thanksgiving and Halloween cards, both of which have been sitting around since October.

It can be a little difficult to enjoy the current holiday or season because I am always looking ahead. (Right now I am receiving Mother’s Day and Summer items, and we ordered 2006 calendars last week.) But because of this headlong rush through the year, I am learning to savour every ordinary day.

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Will to Power

Posted on February 26, 2005 by Heather

I have spent the last two and a half weeks all but glued to my television. I have been working hard at finishing Xenosaga 1 (a PS2 game), so that I can get started on Xenosaga 2. Nearly all of my spare time has been spent playing this game–approximately 40 hours. This is time that I usually spent writing, reading, doing cross stitch, and various other things. All of which have been neglected.

But, tonight, I finally finished the game. If I didn’t know that the second game was a direct continuation, I would be a little disappointed with the ending. Although, the game itself was very funny, and the story is full of interesting theories and twists. All in all, I don’t think it was time wasted, since the use of Kabalistic and Gnostic terminology has actually got me thinking about areas of study that I would like to explore further. It is funny how a video game can spur on one’s spiritual studies.

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Pain, Pain Go Away

Posted on February 22, 2005 by Heather

This morning I have a physiotherapy appointment, so I am awake and dressed much earlier then usual. Physio is going well, but I have to admit to being a little afraid. I really do look forward to getting better. It will be amazing to live without pain in my knees. I honestly can’t imagine what that will be like. But at the same time I am a little unsure how I will adjust to it. It has been something that has defined me for so long, what will I be like when it is gone? The pain changes my moods and restricts my activities. Will I be a freer person when I am better?

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