When one is trying to explore a more simple life, working in a retail store can be very difficult. Temptation abounds in the form of beautiful stationary, alluring bath products, and very yummy chocolate.

I will freely admit that I am failing miserably at adopting the principles of Simple Living. I like my large book collection and my small collection of useless knick-knacks. I am, however, doing well at not starting other collections, as tempting as those cute little things are. 🙂 I think making my bed every morning is nice, even if it does take time. And, conversely, I just don’t have time to cook a meal from scratch everyday, so I occasionally use convenience foods.

My life is not simple, no matter how hard I work to make it that way. (Maybe that’s why it isn’t simple.) Life is complicated–full of emotions and temptations (I swear I hear a pretty box of note cards calling my name!!), and plans being unexpectedly laid to waste. I think it is more important for me to find peace and simplicity in the midst of the daily madness, than to artificially create a peaceful environment that makes it difficult to cope with the real world.

I’ve been thinking a little bit more about this whole physiotherapy and healing experience I am currently going through. I am actually quite afraid of the whole thing. I have been this damaged person for so long that the physical pain has helped to shape my personality. I wonder how my personality will change when the pain begins to go away. Will I become more pleasant and open?

I am also afraid of the expectations that will be placed on me by others as I get better. Right now, I do so much and work so hard, but I am limited by my pain. As the pain goes away, will everyone expect me to work even harder and do even more? What if I am not capable of meeting these new expectations?

All in all, though, I am still very excited about the whole process. I am learning to pay attention to my body and to work with it in better ways.

I wonder if I am vain because I like to think and write about myself. Not in the “I’m the greatest, most interesting person” sort of a way, but rather in an attempt to discover myself. What are my favourite things, my dreams, my passions?

I love to do little quizzes that are supposed to tell me what kind of fairy, or soul or element that I am. Even though they are just for fun, and often very generic, I still get a twinge of secret pleasure when I see myself in the results. I feel like a little bit of my soul has revealed itself in an unexpected place.

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Working at a card and gift shop, I am always living ahead of the year. For example, cards and gift items for Valentine’s Day began arriving by the end of November. So, while everyone else was getting wrapped up in Yule/Christmas, I was already thinking of hearts and cupids. I am also living a little behind the year too. This week I finished packing up Valentine’s and the very last of the Christmas items. I also finally sorted the Thanksgiving and Halloween cards, both of which have been sitting around since October.

It can be a little difficult to enjoy the current holiday or season because I am always looking ahead. (Right now I am receiving Mother’s Day and Summer items, and we ordered 2006 calendars last week.) But because of this headlong rush through the year, I am learning to savour every ordinary day.