I have spent the last two and a half weeks all but glued to my television. I have been working hard at finishing Xenosaga 1 (a PS2 game), so that I can get started on Xenosaga 2. Nearly all of my spare time has been spent playing this game–approximately 40 hours. This is time that I usually spent writing, reading, doing cross stitch, and various other things. All of which have been neglected.

But, tonight, I finally finished the game. If I didn’t know that the second game was a direct continuation, I would be a little disappointed with the ending. Although, the game itself was very funny, and the story is full of interesting theories and twists. All in all, I don’t think it was time wasted, since the use of Kabalistic and Gnostic terminology has actually got me thinking about areas of study that I would like to explore further. It is funny how a video game can spur on one’s spiritual studies.

This morning I have a physiotherapy appointment, so I am awake and dressed much earlier then usual. Physio is going well, but I have to admit to being a little afraid. I really do look forward to getting better. It will be amazing to live without pain in my knees. I honestly can’t imagine what that will be like. But at the same time I am a little unsure how I will adjust to it. It has been something that has defined me for so long, what will I be like when it is gone? The pain changes my moods and restricts my activities. Will I be a freer person when I am better?

The past week and a half has been all about taking care of myself. I’ve been to the doctor for a physical; I’ve started physiotherapy for my knees; and I’ve had an eye doctor appointment and learned that one of my eyes has strengthen significantly. Later today I have a hair appointment (an indulgence I’ve not had since June) and a massage (also, something I’ve not had since June).

Even though all of this is a bit costly, I’m beginning to realize that it is about more then the money. I don’t take good enough care of myself, and because of this problems get out of hand. The physiotherapist has said that much of the pain I have gone through could have been avoided if only I had tried physiotherapy earlier. And the eye doctor told me that my recent eye irritation is because I have let my contacts become too old. It is the details, the every day things, that make all the differences. I need to learn to look after myself better and to take care of these little problems when they crop up, rather then waiting until they get out of hand.

Most nights I have very strange and realistic dreams. Sometimes, when I wake up, I’m not really sure if what I dreamed really happened or not. But I think the weirdest thing about my dreams is that I seem to have somehow developed a whole dream city. In the middle of a dream I will often find myself in some area of a city, on a bus or walking, that I know very well because I have dreamed of being there before. The city seems to be mostly based on Hamilton, where I grew up, bit it has elements of other cities where I have lived a visited. And then there are things that exist nowhere, like a thin bridge high above the city that leads out to a beach of some sort.

I dreamed I was in this city again last night. I knew exactly where I was and what was around the next corner. It seems to me that I almost know this city better then I know Hamilton. And sometimes I am well aware that I am dreaming, yet the dream continues. I often wonder if this is normal.

I don’t think that I make a very good eBay seller. My first attempt to sell items actually went really well, partly due to the fact that I let everything go for really low prices. I was trying to clear out items I had had for years, and I really didn’t care much about how much money I may or may not make. But I was absolutely obsessed with checking my bids. I loaded up my My eBay page constantly to see if the bid on any item had gone up. In the end, I was pleasantly surprised with how it all went.

This time, nearly five days in, and none of my items have bids. They are all good items in excellent condition, yet no one seems to want them. All the items are sitting on my desks, looking at me sadly because no one wants them. Hmm… maybe that’s my problem. I should stop letting my items have a personality. 😉

Does anyone have any good advice to selling on eBay, or do books just in general not do well there?

You would probably think that living with someone who shares a lot of likes with you would be great. It seems like it would cut down on arguments, etc. But, honestly, it can be quite frustrating. You see, quanta and I both have the same favourite colour and flavour of chips, among other things. This leads to the odd argument over who gets the new purple toothbrush (he did), or who ate all the chips (I did). Of course, it also made picking paint colours much easier.

Not that I would change quanta for anything… but I sure would like a bag of chips to myself once in a while. And maybe a few less discussions over who gets to use the PS2.