Friday Five

Posted on February 20, 2004 by Heather

Where did the week go? It’s time for another Friday Five.

When was the last time you…

1. …went to the doctor?

I haven’t been to the doctor in probably two and a half years. I used to go fairly regularly, due to a couple of chronic health problems. But, about three years ago, my doctor closed her private practice to focus on emergency medicine. I went to see another doctor only twice, but I didn’t like him very much. Now I am looking for another doctor so that I can get some of my problems under control again.

2. …went to the dentist?

The last time I went to the dentist was almost exactly one year ago. I had my wisdom teeth pulled last February. It wasn’t as bad as I expected, even though I wasn’t as asleep as I should have been. (I have developed a very high tolerance to many drugs.) My teeth straightened out quite nicely as a side effect. I do need to go see a dentist to have some other problems taken care of because, other then getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I haven’t been to a dentist in maybe six or ten years.

3. …filled your gas tank?

I don’t have a car.

4. …got enough sleep?

I can’t even remember the last time I got a good night’s sleep. I have chronic insomnia. It takes me ages to fall asleep at night and I wake up many times. I almost never feel completed rested, even if I nap during the day. Some days I get better sleep then others though

5. …backed up your computer?

Uhhhh… I haven’t backed up either of my computers in ages. I do keep a copy of any important flies on both computers. I figure it isn’t likely that both of them will have problems at the same time. Really though, I have been meaning to back up some of my writing just in case.

Comments Off on Friday Five | Posted in Memes & Collabs |

More on the Job Search

Posted on February 18, 2004 by Heather

My job search is very frustrating. There are a heck of a lot more jobs available here. On Monday, there were more posted on one site for TO then I saw for London in one month! But, so many of them are looking for 2-3 years experience, or 6-9 years, or whatever. How am I supposed to get this experience if every job is looking for someone with experience? Even entry level jobs want someone with 2 years experience. *sigh* I know that ads give an idealized view of the sort of person they are looking for, so I am still applying for jobs that I have the skills for but not the experience.

I find that I am limiting myself because I have to agree with, or at least not hate, whatever the product or service is that the company provides. For example, I am applying for a receptionist job with a yoga studio. I’ve got no problem with that. But, I’m unsure of a similar job with a company that provides investigation services for other companies. They seem a little shady and a little like they try to union-break, etc. Also, I don’t really want to apply for a receptionist job with a union, for various reasons. (Partly because there is going to be some huge trouble between the provincial government and unions soon, and I don’t want to be out of work if strikes start to happen.)

I know I need to work to pay off my student loans and to feel like I am looking after myself. But, I can’t take just any job. I’m learning I need to be true to myself. I also realize that I am very lucky to have the opportunity to be so selective.

Comments Off on More on the Job Search | Posted in My Life |

I am Who I am

Posted on February 17, 2004 by Heather

I do some of my best thinking when I shower in the morning. Today, I got to thinking about some of the things I do and why I do them. For example, Bomberman, Dr. Sexy, and his wife will be stopping by tonight. So, of course, I’ll be cleaning my already spotless house from top to bottom today. Why? Two reasons – first, Dr. Sexy has cat allergies. I can respect that, and I will do my best to clean as good as possible to minimize his discomfort. The second reason isn’t as noble. I’m cleaning because I want them to think I keep a clean house.

There is obviously a problem here. I know my house is clean, and that should be good enough. But it isn’t. I am starting to realize that I am way to concerned with what other people think about me. Why? They aren’t me, and they aren’t living my life.

Of course, there is a difference between not caring what other people think and just not giving a damn in general. I think I need to live a little more for me. I have a Hello Kitty scarf that I love, but I stopped wearing it because I thought I was getting a little to old for it. But you know, life is to short. Why not wear what I want, within reason. But being reasonable is the key.

I also tend to keep my spirituality and my studies pretty much under wraps. I may spend the day studying Tarot or reading a book for CFFN. But when I am asked what I’m doing, I’ll usually say “Oh, nothing.” I’m not doing nothing! I’m studying something important to me! But I won’t tell you because I’m afraid you will think I am a fruit! But I’m not!!! I’m an intelligent, well-rounded, spiritual person who is afraid to be who she is because of what you might think of me. And it is crushing my spirit to hide it. You might think my time would be better spent studying programming or something equal intellectual, but it wouldn’t be.

Oh yeah, I also like to play games. And, I’m pretty damn happy with my life. 😀

Comments Off on I am Who I am | Posted in My Life |

All Tomorrow’s Cultures

Posted on February 14, 2004 by Heather

Usually when we join university friends for dinner, talk turns to careers, technology, programming, etc. I can follow everything that is going on, and I can even add my only little insights to the conversation. But, it generally doesn’t interest me all that much. Since leaving university, I’ve pretty much changed my interests. Banging out code doesn’t inspire me anymore. (OK, I will admit that when I occasionally fool around with simple, simple programs and get into the zone it still feels really good.) Instead, I like to spend my time researching what is generally called the “occult.” Discussions about religions interest me, not discussions about MS’s latest product.

So, last night, quanta and I went out for dinner with V. V is Hindu. (Actually, every one of our friends from university is a different faith. Two different types of Buddhists, a Hindu, a Catholic, a Baptist, a Moslem, two generic Christians, a charismatic Christian, etc., and me, a Wiccan. ) And, for some reason, talk over the sushi turned to religion. We had a very interesting discussion about how much of Hindu culture has been “borrowed” lately, often without attributing it. And, of course, Wiccans are some of the people who have done this borrowing. V described karma in simple terms, and it is very similar to the Law of Return; the Hindu version of reincarnation is very similar to the version believed by some Wiccans, etc.

quanta brought up the point that William Gibson, in the novel All Tomorrow’s Parties, suggested that in the future culture and subculture will be endangered species, because we will have mined all of them for the useful pieces and nothing will be left. I am inclined to agree. While I support eclecticism, being an eclectic Wicca, I also recognize it’s dangers. Thanks to the internet, world-wide TV, movies and music, culture everywhere is becoming more and more alike. There are a lot less differences between me and my friend in Britain then one would think. There has to be some what to include aspects of different culture/faiths/whatever, without loosing what is special about either culture. I’m not trying to be culturecentric, just aware that we could be loosing some beautiful cultures in the mad rush to be all alike.

Comments Off on All Tomorrow’s Cultures | Posted in The Outside World |

Oh My!!!!!!

Posted on February 13, 2004 by Heather

I can’t believe it! Has hell frozen over? Is the world coming to an end? Wow! But September is sooooooo far away!

Star Wars: Episode IV | The Star Wars Trilogy on DVD

Comments Off on Oh My!!!!!! | Posted in Media & Politics |

Friday Five

Posted on February 13, 2004 by Heather

Two posts in one day! I really must be feeling better. 🙂 Here is this week’s Friday Five.

1. Are you superstitious?
Not really, no. When I was younger, I was very superstitious. I always thought Friday the 13th was awful, and I never walked under a ladder, etc. Now, there aren’t very many superstitions I believe in. I do try to be aware of some Chinese superstitions because of quanta’s parents. It is likely that we won’t get married this year because 4 is a very unlike number for Chinese.

2. What extremes have you heard of someone going to in the name of superstition?
I really don’t know. There doesn’t seem to be much talk of superstitions any more. They seem to have been replaced by urban legends. Maybe urban legends are our modern superstitions.

I guess having no 13th floor in a building is a little extreme in my opinion. It is pretty obvious that the 14th floor is really the 13th floor. The building we used to live in, as well as several we looked at, didn’t have a 13th floor.

3. Believer or not, what’s your favorite superstition?
I suppose I like the superstitions about black cats the most. The are just so odd, and so obviously untrue. But, sadly, I think it has lead to the death of more then a few poor cats.

4. Do you believe in luck? If yes, do you have a lucky number/article of clothing/ritual?
I guess I do believe in luck to a certain degree, but I also believe you make your own luck. You can’t just sit at home and wait for opportunity to knock (and believe me, I know!), you’ve got to go out there and encourage it.

I don’t believe in destiny either. Or rather, I don’t believe our future is totally planned out. I think that there are certain lessons we are meant to learn during our lifetime, but how we learn those lessons is pretty much up in the air.

5. Do you believe in astrology? Why or why not?
Yes and no. I think a well cast natal chart can provide a lot of insight into one’s personality. But, I don’t believe in the daily or monthly horoscopes. Astrology needs to be highly personalized to provide any useful information, and it is difficult to do that.

Comments Off on Friday Five | Posted in Memes & Collabs |

Starting Some Changes

Posted on February 12, 2004 by Heather

Life is getting better. I’m still suffering from unreasonable bouts of sadness, but over all I am feeling better. (Thanks to those who checked in with me occasionally.)

So, we are in TO now, and it is time to walk the walk. I’ve been saying for ages that if I was settled somewhere that I knew was going to be home that I would make some changes to my life. I knew living in London was only temporary (yeah, for two and a half years!), so I wasn’t ever really able to feel at home. I’m a nester, so I was pretty uncomfortable. I know that barring anything really odd, TO (or one of the surrounding suburbs) is likely where we will live for many years to come. I’m home, finally.

Now it is time to find a job. I’m terrified. I’m afraid of people I don’t know and I hate confrontation. It’s no wonder I hated retail, eh? But I was good at it. Why? Because I had this other personality that I developed to help me cope at work. But, I hated that personality. She wasn’t a person I would want to be friends with, yet she was me. This time I am going to find a job in anything but retail. I don’t think I want anything with a lot of responsibility people-wise. It’s not that I don’t have ambitions, it is just that the lie outside of the corporate world. quanta has suggested that I look for work as a secretary or something similar for a non-profit organization. I think it is a pretty good idea, but I think that I also have to agree with the aims of the organization. It will be hard to be true to myself and still find a good job, but I think I can do it.

I’ve also been working on making a list of things I do well, which is much more difficult then you would think. It’s up to ten things right now. 🙂

Comments Off on Starting Some Changes | Posted in My Life |